Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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