finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
dude. I can hear the air.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize