The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
