If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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