You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
