I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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