He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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