So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
