you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
