you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize