Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
