So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
me + whiskey = a bad person
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
