So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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