I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I touched a dick in church today
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
