I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize