Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
