I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
even my farts smell like vagina
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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