She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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