me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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