shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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