You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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