Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
