I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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