my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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