So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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