Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize