You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
