Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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