It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
