i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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