I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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