You surviving the open bar?
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So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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