Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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