im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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