Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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