I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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