with your own penis?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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