guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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