I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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