school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
