franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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