dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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