who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
