Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
