Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
