Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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