I want to walk on stilts...naked
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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