i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
