So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is it because I queefed?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
