I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
