dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
