i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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