If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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