Define "chronic" masturbator.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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