I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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