let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
