FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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