sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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