dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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