hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
